


Child of My Own, Find Love in My Arms

by FlamboyantProblematic



Category: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, POV First Person, Personification, Scattered Thoughts, There arent really any specific characters, im just thinking out loud, in the form of writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24436714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlamboyantProblematic/pseuds/FlamboyantProblematic
Summary: Martinaise weeps for her children. A short love letter from a dying district to her people
Relationships: Glen/Titus Hardie
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Child of My Own, Find Love in My Arms

**Author's Note:**

> Midnight thoughts that weigh heavy on me. Martinaise is alive in my head and she is aching for her children.

I weep for you, child of my own. You grow with no love. You cry out to her innocence and ask why? Why must you go through this pain? Why does your blood paint the floor? Why must you live like this? What have you done wrong? She has no answers. You stopped asking, the beating never did. 

Your bones ache, your blood flows outside your body, a waste, your heart in your chest darkens, your fists clench and your body shakes, angry. But you carry on regardless. 

Just another day. You've made it through just another day. You've made it through the pain, and hands balled into fists against your fragile frame. Snow falls from the sky outside, my cold frozen tears of sorrow in vain. 

For all my children, I weep. For the dead I weep. For the broken buildings of my bones, I weep. No one hears.

And I watch you grow from hate, a flower of thorns this violence creates. A soulless soul. A shape fit for this chaos you celebrate. You're in love with it, and find satisfaction in hurting those who stand in your way. You've lost yourself in the streets of my veins... 

Roam, roam, alone. 

Don't forget your home. 

When night comes, look out your window. I will play you the melodies of ships in the harbor, swaying merrily with the waves, and kiss you gently with the cold wind, and card my fingers through your sunshine hair, so that you may find slumber, close your tired eyes, and rest for the day. 

You've made it through. 

Now sixteen, with hair like the sun you've never seen, and eyes like a dark stormy sea. Lost on love, scars on your sleeves. Heart pumping blood and vile black despair. It gives you reason to live. You find peace in your hurricane and threaten to destroy anyone who comes near. 

A path of self destruction you chose, of isolation you chose, a lone wolf. You build walls like cities around yourself and block even my love and her innocence. You need no god nor man. You are the king of your own land. But my child please remember me.

My son of Martinaise, remember me, for you're a part of me. Forgive me, I failed you, and many children like you who spend the nights sobbing into their pillows, hoping death does not come knocking on their door tomorrow. I've failed you. 

Blood on the streets, gun fire louder than the birds in the trees, disturbing songs of death play on repeat, every day, repeat. Abandoned I am, by the world outside. Alone, you are like me.

I know how it feels. 

And so forgive me for disturbing thee from beyond thine walls where no man nor woman can go. But I hold you in my arms still, in my veins you walk still, and in my heart your home remains. No longer alone should you be. I bring you today a friend. He will be the land that you may crash on to, but he will not shake in the wake of your rage. 

A heart of gold in his chest, bleeding through his scars. One of my own soul he is, a piece I give to you. And you lower your walls for him. You decide to begin your life anew. 

And time you both pass, dreaming of dreams beyond me. Of peace you dream, of love you dream. Simply dreams, playing out on the unsteady surface of lakes where you two sit and talk for hours on-end. 

And you laugh, a sound so pure to me. So soft and beautiful. My greatest melody. You laugh like there's no tomorrow and you live like it's Memento Mori. 

A foreign feeling in your heart builds, feelings you were never taught to have. Feelings that feel like longing, things you don't understand; happiness, joy, comfort, love, in your heart they find a home.

And in love you fall. Surprisingly, in love you fall. 

Gentle, sweet, burning fall. An unexpected sick and twisted desire to call him yours. 

Yours, as close to you as the beating of your own heart, he becomes. 

Yours, a resident of your own mind, he becomes. 

Yours, one with your own soul, he becomes. 

Yours, a friend you can call yours. 

And for years and years he was. And deeper, deeper this pit of love. It's wrong. 

You shouldn't have these feelings; they're wrong. 

You're not sick, my child, you're wrong. 

It's just love like any other, true like any other, and pure like any other. 

Please, will you learn to embrace who you are before you find yourself sinking once more? Men and men, you were told "no", and a man you want to become, so you live once again in a painful sorrows you created on your own. 

It's not your fault. 

You will not find what you seek at the bottom of a bottle, not this one nor the next or the next. Not today or tomorrow, not till you learn to be content. My child, this is who you are, and in my arms you will still find love. In my embrace you will still find love. 

A gift is his kiss when his lips meet yours. They taste like smoke and dreams, of rivers of liquor and all your favorite things. 

It must be a dream, you think. There's no way he would want to be yours. Just that, a mirage, a trick of your mind. He would never want to be yours. And when you open your eyes, like a ghost in the night he would fade, and you will go back to feeling pain. Ache. For him you ache. 

You say goodbye, and with fear in your heart, you open your eyes. Your sea meets his land. He is still here. A soft smile on his lips, a silent promise to never leave. And in the wind, words only I hear... 'I love you' it is clear. 

Peace, in his arms you find peace, and forget the blood and tears of years. 

Sleep, calm blissful sleep. Synchronized heart beats, never before this alive. 

Sweet, love so gentle and sweet. Kind thing in a world so dark. 

Here, forever right here, you think you'd like to be by his side till the end of your lives. 

And so when the time comes, child of mine, go to her innocence and tell her you found peace, that you fought bravely and did not let hate conquer your heart. 

And when you go, child of Martinaise, tell her you have no regrets, you have lived through pain and survived. You have lived through heartache and survived. You have lived. Memento Mori, you have lived. 

And when you go, child of my own, tell her you found love in these arms of mine. 

_**Have I been a good mother?** _


End file.
